He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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