ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize