So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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