I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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