ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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