it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize