He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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