it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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