im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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