I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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