Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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