It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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