wat bout pragnant strippers??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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