I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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