apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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