people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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