there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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