so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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