hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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