How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Shame - the story of my life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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