buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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