Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize