I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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