I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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