so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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