Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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