real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize