you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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