i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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