Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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