He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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