somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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