Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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