i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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