FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize