And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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