hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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