i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize