And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize