Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I looked at my own cervix.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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