Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize