I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Pooping to opera.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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