He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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