Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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