pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize