Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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