I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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