***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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