xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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