i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize